You’re wondering how the Christian Republic of America came to invade Europe. It began with the infidels who infiltrated Europe just as the socialists and communists before them. His Truth: “One enemy with many faces.” Eventually, the Department of Fatherland Security had conclusive proof that the infidels had, in fact, conquered much of Europe hundreds of years ago, when dinosaurs still roamed. This, no doubt, explains the treachery of Europeans.
It was deemed in our national security interests that we invade Europe. England rolled over immediately. However, with war raging on many fronts and another monthly tax cut planned, Our New Lord decided to spare the nation a prolonged and expensive struggle for Europe – we nuked them. People cheered the destruction of France especially – enemies of liberty, equality and brotherhood!
Before the Freedom Fire, the Pope was smuggled out of Europe. In Washington, the Pope crowned Karl the Great Our New Lord. The frail pontiff died immediately thereafter and, so, Our New Lord assumed his duties, beginning with excommunicating everyone who hadn’t accepted Jesus Christ as his personal savior.
Now we are blessed to live in the End Time. We are humble in knowing we are the most moral people ever to live. Our great struggle with the infidels who falsely believe God is on their side is nearing its fore-ordained end. Then the Believers will be taken up into Heaven and the rest of us will cheer loudly: good riddance!
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Attention! The Ministry of Faith-based Justice has been ordered by Our New Lord, the Architect of Victory, to destroy history itself if necessary to bring an end to the socialist communism of gay-liberals. You will not be allowed to pollute our culture and morals, you dirty hippies! Signed: Assistant Sub-Minister of Faith-based Tax Relief George Duhbya Bush
His Truth: “History is written by the winners. Win at any cost.”
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[mjh: If you liked this, perhaps you’ll enjoy The Real Inaugural Address]
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mjh’s blog — Left Undone
Left Undone, Part 1
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