ABQjournal: Paintballers May Play Tag the Elk By Jeff Jones, Journal Staff Writer

The New Mexico Game and Fish Department is considering springtime paintball “disruption hunts” to spook elk out of greening meadows, where they’re chomping grass cattle ranchers intend for cows.

The elk-cow conflicts have led to the killing of elk in the past. Game and Fish figures paintball sniping — which apparently would be a first for public wildlife management in the United States — might deter elk from the greener pastures without any elk deaths.

Elk-zapping probably would be a big hit with paintballers, said Jerry Gibson, general manager of Albuquerque’s Hinkle Family Fun Center. The center has two paintball fields where gung-ho players blast away at fellow humans with the gel-enclosed spheres of bright, water-soluble paint.

So, we’re going to let crazies run through the meadows terrorizing deer so that ranchers can have the grass for their cows. Nice. Public land, public wildlife, personal profit = corporate welfare. Hey, I’ll bet ATVs and chainsaws would help! Let’s get drunk first!

In a not entirely unrelated matter, my wife and I were SHOT IN THE BACKS by a carfull of fun-loving paint-ballers. Those aren’t “markers,” they’re god-damn guns. Check out one of my wounds. We thought we were dying. The shooter laughed his head off. The sport of kings. mjh